Conversation Tips
A lot of people have trouble thinking about things to say to their tulpa. Here are a few tips for coming up with a conversation, and a list of possible conversations for you to have with your tulpa.
Remark on the Location or Occasion
Look around and see if there is anything worth pointing out.
Ask an Open-Ended Question
Most people love talking about themselves. An open question requires an explanation for an answer rather an a simple yes or no. Open questions tend to begin with who, when, what, why, where, and how, whereas closed questions start with do, have, and is/am/are. "Do you like books?" would be a closed question. "What sort of books do you like?" is an open question.
Keep the Conversation Going with Small Talk
This keeps the conversation light and simple. Use small talk to establish rapport and similarities rather than opinionated arguments. Small talk encompasses topics such as a website, your artwork, a video game, a book you've read, etc.
Synchronize
Once your tulpa has started talking, follow her cue to keep the conversation going smoothly. Say her name every now and then, it's a warming sign of respect and mutual like. Give encouraging feedback; you can nod, say "ah-ha" or "wow" or "oh". Keep your body language open and receptive. Make occasional genuine eye contact without staring.
Use Words of a Sensory Nature
These are words such as "see", "imagine", "feel", "tell", "sense", etc., which encourage the tulpa to keep painting a descriptive picture as part of the conversation.
Maintain the Equilibrium
As the person who started the conversation, the responsibility initially rests with you to maintain the momentum. So what happens when your tulpa starts practicing active listening and open questions back on you? You have several options:
Tips
Resource used: http://www.wikihow.com/Come-Up-with-Good-Conversation-Topics
Remark on the Location or Occasion
Look around and see if there is anything worth pointing out.
Ask an Open-Ended Question
Most people love talking about themselves. An open question requires an explanation for an answer rather an a simple yes or no. Open questions tend to begin with who, when, what, why, where, and how, whereas closed questions start with do, have, and is/am/are. "Do you like books?" would be a closed question. "What sort of books do you like?" is an open question.
Keep the Conversation Going with Small Talk
This keeps the conversation light and simple. Use small talk to establish rapport and similarities rather than opinionated arguments. Small talk encompasses topics such as a website, your artwork, a video game, a book you've read, etc.
Synchronize
Once your tulpa has started talking, follow her cue to keep the conversation going smoothly. Say her name every now and then, it's a warming sign of respect and mutual like. Give encouraging feedback; you can nod, say "ah-ha" or "wow" or "oh". Keep your body language open and receptive. Make occasional genuine eye contact without staring.
Use Words of a Sensory Nature
These are words such as "see", "imagine", "feel", "tell", "sense", etc., which encourage the tulpa to keep painting a descriptive picture as part of the conversation.
Maintain the Equilibrium
As the person who started the conversation, the responsibility initially rests with you to maintain the momentum. So what happens when your tulpa starts practicing active listening and open questions back on you? You have several options:
- Relish it as their cue to let you start talking about yourself. Just don't overdo it. Remember to keep engaging them back with open questions and active listening at the end of your own recounting.
- Deflect it if you'd rather not be the center of conversation attention. Say something like "Well, I like such and such, but you don't want to hear about me all night. What's your favorite such and such?"
- Answer questions with a question. "What do you think of nuclear disarmament?" could be responded with "I'm not sure, what do you think?" Your tulpa may be so intent on filling you in on their side of the story they'll forget they asked you first.
Tips
- If you're consistently unable to connect, it's possible that you aren't expressing your interests well. At some point you have to be interested out loud if you want to be interesting.
- Make sure that when they also try to say something, you listen patiently and participate in the conversation as much as you can.
- Remember and plan to share anything you like, think is funny, or find intriguing. This is a way of building up your own inner library of things that might be helpful to another person during a conversation.
- It helps to be actually interested in what you do. If your life isn't interesting to you, it won't be interesting to your tulpa.
- Act relaxed.
- Give good responses to questions. When people ask you questions they want a detailed, satisfying answer.
Resource used: http://www.wikihow.com/Come-Up-with-Good-Conversation-Topics
Topics of Conversation
- What is your favorite holiday?
- What do you like to do to relax?
- What is your favorite color?
- What is your first memory?
- What would you do with 10 million dollars?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- What's your favorite sport?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- What is your favorite food?
- What is your favorite drink?
- What is your favorite meal of the day?
- Are there foods that you don't like?
- Are there foods that you would like to try?
- What is your favorite restaurant?
- What is your favorite pizza topping?
- Who is your favorite actor?
- What is your favorite movie?
- What type of music do you like to listen to?
- Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
- What are you scared of?
- If you could have any super power, what would it be?
- If you were stranded on an island and could have only one item, what would it be?
- Do you believe in luck?
- Do you like video games?
- Do you believe people are inherently good?
- Do you prefer cats or dogs?
- Would you prefer to live in the city or a rural area?
- What is your favorite season?
- What would you do if you only had 24 hours left to live?
- What is your favorite subject in school?
- What is something you have never done but would like to do?
- If you had three wishes what would they be?
- If you could start a business, what would it be?
- What is one weird thing about you?
- What is something you would like to become better at?
- What do you like/dislike about living in _________?
- What are you biggest pet peeves?
- What is your favorite memory?
- Would you rather be blind or deaf?
- Would you rather be poor and work at a job you love or be rich and work at a job you hate?
- Would you rather be rich and ugly or poor and good looking?
- Would you rather be rich or be poor and find true love?
- Would you rather go to jail for a year or live in a car for a year?
- What's the first thing you'd do if you were president?
- If you could change your name to anything you wanted, what would it be?
- Do you believe in fate? Do you think everything happens for a reason, or do we make our own decisions?
- Name something that doesn't exist today.
- Do dreams mean anything?
- Are you comfortable as a leader or a follower?
- If you were writing an autobiography, what would the title be?
- If you got a tattoo, what would it be?
- Do you like to sing/dance?
- If you joined the circus, what act would you most want to perform?
- If you wrote a book what would it be about?
- If you had a time machine, where and when would you travel to?
- What do you think is the hardest part of being a tulpa?
- What three things would you like to change in the world?
- If you can give one sentence advice about how to live life, what would it be?
- Describe your dream house.
- You can choose your last meal. What will the menu consist of?
- If you were a professional wrestler, what would your ring name be and why?
- Do you enjoy gambling?
- If snow could fall in any flavor, what flavor would you choose?
- What do you think happens after death?
- If you could make up a holiday, what would it be and how would you celebrate it?
- What are the problems with capitalism?
- If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be? Why?
- Is there one place you'd like to visit before you die?
- Someone just gave you a mansion. What do you do with it?
- What is the biggest animal you could defeat in hand to hand combat?
- If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it?
- What game show would you want to be on?
- If you could have 50 pounds of anything other than money, what would it be?
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